Sitting here Sunday morning in a contemplative mood.
Yesterday I went for a walk/run. I say walk/run because I usually walk and try to run as much of it as I can, although with the summer’s heat and the fact that I still have not reached my desired weight I have not pushed the running part as much as I would like but hopefully by fall I will be able to run more than walk. Yesterday morning was wonderful for me. It was early and the smell of the dew on the tall grasses was in the air, there was also the many colors of green that I always marvel at, looking out at the fields is like eye candy. I love nature, I feel peace being there. I miss going into the swamp, I feel really good there being one on one with nature and the quiet stillness. There is more solitude, one does not run into so many people. Although I do enjoy seeing some people. There is a couple with a black dog that I sometimes see. They were there yesterday. Their black dog looks so much like my Hector dog. Who was my good friend for 14 years.
Seeing that dog yesterday made me think about things. I thought about the years I lived in New York City. Issues, choices, things that I thought have long been resolved. I thought about how we can carry some issues from the past into present relationships, coloring the present with the past. Which does not seem like a good thing and seems to be a drain of emotinal energy. I also thought about my life today. How wonderful things have been happening. Many new adventures came my way these last two years. It seems that I have finally started to find my own again, thankfully. I am finally being me again. I am finally not trying to please anyone. This can be a fault of mine and I think I can ruin a good thing by trying too hard. Hopefully I haven’t. I am chilling out and learning day by day. I have also started on several career paths that are rewarding. It feels good to be able to contribute. This is also making me feel energized and I am confident of a bright future.
So here I sit on this Sunday morning which is becoming a Sunday afternoon. Moments. Life is full of moments. I cherish all the adventures and look forward to tomorrow. Seeing how things play out day by day.
