I have started to take my walk/runs into the swamp trails. I have wanted to do this ever since I discovered this trail with a friend however I never thought that I would have the courage to actually switch from the paved trails to the swamp trail. MY FIRST VENTURE into the swamp was unplanned. One day, when we went to the trails in different cars I arrived late. This was the first time I drove there alone and it took longer than I expected it. When driving together the time seems to fly, I am having fun enjoying the the drive, enjoying the luxury of not driving. A luxury that I rarely experience. Now I was fighting dump trucks and a lot of slow drivers. I was stressed. I was already stressed and the traffic did not help. To me this was going to be a special walk/run, I had it pictured in my mind as how it would all go. Our cars would arrive together, we would talk, and go on our merry ways happily down the trails. Now I know one should not plan things out. Planning things out seems to destroy the real moment. What a loss. To miss the real moment because something else is playing out in one’s mind. This is a lesson I have to learn in many aspects in my life. Let the moment alone, relax, let it be.
So, there I was alone. This was not how it was going to be. But this was the reality of it. Now what. I walked some of the paved trail. Still alone. So that left the swamp trail. I stood there looking down the beginning of the trail. What to do? Venture in there alone. Can I do it and not get lost. What about spiders and snakes and gators, oh my! I am a city girl. My idea of a trail is Central Park’s track around the reserviour. This was wilderness to me. However when I first started the paved trail, that seemed like wilderness to me. I realize that this seems funny compared to the real wilderness trails in the northern mountains and out west, but then as I said, I am a city girl. So, what to do. I had to go in, I wanted to catchup with my friends on this special walk/run. I decided to get my green pocketbook. I don’t know why but I felt safer with my greenbag and the cell phone. I hoped that if need be it would work in there.
In there. Yes, that’s how it was. I was out there but up the trail was “in there.” I braced myself and walked through the sugar sand. I reminded myself not to daydream but to be very careful and look at all the marker signs with the orange foot markes on them. Over the hump into the green vastness. A few yards down there were two directions, I frozed for a moment thinking I must turn back but then I saw the orange feet, so off I went. Winding through the different shades of green. I finally took a deep breath as I realized that I have not been breathing and then I started to ease up. Not relax but ease up. I heard my inner voice saying “I can do this, I can do this.” Then another inner voice saying, “OK now it is too late to turn back, keep going until you meet up.” It seemed like I walked quite aways and now I was too afraid to turn back. Back there, no one was there, forward there was somebody somewhere. Something was rustling in the bush. Oh, oh. Then birds calling. Now these were not chirpy birds. These were bird birds. Big Bird calls, announcing to all that I was intruding. I checked to see if my cell phone worked in there. It did! Oh joy, but so what, I thought, by the time I needed smeone in here it would not matter. So, city girl you are on your own. Get it together. I kept walking. It was so wonderfully quiet and still, it was beautiful. I can never get over the many different shades of green. I thought to myself this would really be nice if I was not in terror. LOL Well, long story short I survived. It was a real experience and I came away with a feeling of a sense of self. I went forward and did not let my fears get in the way. If I could do this in my everyday life how remarkable that would be. What a transformation. I felt elated.
