Yesterday I went on my walk/run. Actually it turned out to be a walk but it felt wonderful anyway. I have not been keeping up with my usual schedule. When I awoke in the morning I had this urge that I just have to get back out into the forest so I went out to the trails. I felt it was better just to walk rather than try to force myself to run after not running for awhile. I started out on the usual Ship Canal trail which is one mile. Usually I walk this 4 times and have been thinking of getting up to doing it for 6 miles, hopefully when the weather gets a little cooler. It was a beautiful morning, the temperature was about 71 degrees, there was this wonderful wet forest smell from the rain shower that must have fallen during the night. It was still partly overcast but you could feel the sun from behind the clouds and parts of the sky was blue with white puffy clouds. There was this quiet stillness that I love to listen to, this stillness was interrupted sometimes by birds chirping and calling to each other, and the barking of dogs from distant houses. There was the occasional biker whissing by, a few more than normal since this was a weekend day.
When I got to the little triangle at the end of the trail I had a thought. Instead of walking around the triangle and going back, what if I went right and went into another part of the trail. Gopher Loop. This to me was an adventure. I walked this way once with a friend but I didn’t remember exactly where it went. I looked at the sign and it looked like this would loop back to where I was if I made the right turns. I felt apprehensive but I wanted to see what was down this road so I pushed on. It was beautiful with pine trees as far as one could see. It also felt desolate, where were the bikers now. I did not tell anyone I was going out to the trails this morning and I thought to myself that this was unwise, what if something should happen. I felt a little afraid and thought maybe I should go back but going back now felt further away than pushing forward. It seemed like an endless trail and my mind was playing games with me.
I pushed on. That seemed to be the best option. Whenever I am afraid in life I always figure one has to push on and keep going, that seems like the best choice. See where it goes and how it plays out. What else can one do. Going back or retreating does not seem to fix anything. I put my fears aside, focused on the moment and took in the beauty all around me. I could feel the sun’s warm heat which felt comforting and the clear air was exhilarating. Finally another little triangle and the path branched off into other directions. Which way to go? I looked at the sign and it gave the name of another loop, but Gopher Loop was not mentioned. There was a red arrow to the right. It seemed logical that I should go left but there was nothing on the sign about Gopher anything. I went left anyway hoping that I was right.
The trail went on again for what seemed liked many miles, I kept hearing barking dogs in the distance which felt reassuring. I again focused on the beauty around me to quell my fear. Again I thought, where are the bikers? It was me, the pine trees and the barking dogs. Then no more pine trees, the path turned into a winding woodsy area. My mind was having fun playing with me, I thought of the movie “The Blair Witch Project” about the people lost in the woods, not being able to get out. Then there was a fire line, I remembered that there was a fire line at the beginning of the trail on the other side. I figured that this was the same fire line and that would mean I should be getting back to the beginning of the trail, where I started from. Yes, finally I saw a triangle. A familiar little triangle with the green bench. Happy little green bench waiting for me. Yeah! I did Gopher Loop and made it back to ship Canal trail. I sat on the little green bench for awhile and drank my water which I did not drink till now because all I kept focusing on is hoping to get back.
This all seems so very funny now but it did not feel funny as I was doing it. After all I am a city girl and wandering about in the woods by myself is very new to me. As I was sitting on the little green bench many thoughts went through my mind. I though it is better not to go off the beaten path, but now having done Gopher Loop it was no longer off the beaten path. Now I discovered a new path. I may not walk it on a regular basis but it is no longer an unkown. Few leaves on a tree were red and I thought of the northern woods on a fall day and I was homesick for the colors of fall. I though about how it must feel like to walk trails up north in the Fall woods. I used to drive to the mountains when I lived up north and looked at the colors and took pictures but I never ventured out for a walk in the woods. I though about a lot of things I never ventured to do. We can’t go back in the past but I hope that maybe someday I will get a chance to walk the northern woods on a fall day.
A yellow butterfly caught my attention. I watched it flying by until it disappeared into the woods. As I was watching it I became aware that I was watching time. From the moment I saw it until it disappeared into the woods time was passing. I wondered how many things changed in this little moment. We are all moving through time like this yellow butterfly.
What a thing to think about, all I wanted to do this morning was to go for a little walk.
