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MY THIRD VENTURE INTO THE SWAMP was a learning experience that I will never forget.  I was excited and happy to there again.  I walked in feeling the sugar sand beneath my feet, feeling the warm sun on my face, the forest air, listening to the forest sounds. I was just enjoying the moment walking happily in my day dreams.  Walking in the sugar sand just dreaming, being with my thoughts, not paying attention.  After awhile it came to my attention that the sugar sand should have stopped a long time ago, and that I should have been on another part of the trail.  As I thought this I came to a split in the sugar sand trail and I realized that I was not where I was supposed to be.  I froze, I panicked.  This happened to me once before when I first started to walk the payment.  Hard to believe that one could get confused on the payment, but as I said I am a city girl. 

My experience when I got confused on the payment was scary.  However, I learned an important lesson there that saved me now in the swamp.  When I got confused on the payment I turned my body around and this further confused me.  By turning around physically, I lost the sense of direction that I was going in.  The trees on each side looked the same and I no longer knew which way to go.  Luckily the payment only had two outcomes.  If I turned around I would either get to the top parking lot, which is where I wanted to go, or if I went the other way, I would wind up by the green bench and the triangle patch of grass and I would now know where I was.  As it turned out I did make a mistake and found myself back at the green bench, then I turned around and knew that I was OK and headed back to the parking lot.      

However in the swamp there was no payment to guide me.  As I looked around  I saw several paths of sugar sand.  I did not move my body, this way at least I knew which way I was heading towards.  The trees seemed to form a circle around me, I felt closed in among the circle of trees, a queezy feeling in the pit of my stomach overcame me and I felt dizzy. I stood still, I knew the forward direction but as I looked around everything seemed like a circle.  I took a deep breath and turned around.  OK this was the way back, if I just walk slowly and watch the sugar sand I will find the way back, and if not hopefully my friend would wonder where I was if I didn’t make it back to my car.  As it turned out I made it back to the part of the sugar sand trail where I should have crossed over into the other part of the trail.  I recognized where I made the mistake.  Now do I go into the swamp, as I was still shook-up about getting lost, or do I go back out to the pavement.  I knew if I went back to the paymnent I would probably never venture into the swamp again.  I would have to overcome my fear now.  So I went into the swamp, making a strong mental note where the trail was and where I had made the mistake.

So, now I am venturing in the swamp.  I am again walking happily but this time I am very focused.  I note the different sections of the trail.  I note that on one section I am walking on pine needles, this is one of my favorite sections.  Then there is a section that opens up into a grassy trail where it is easy to run because it is a flat area and there are no tree stumps.  Then there is a section where there is water on each side which leads to a picnic bench and the first little bridge. As I press forward I am very aware that one has to be focused, one cannot go day dreaming in their little shell, at least not in the swamp. 

I pushed on, to my place of tranqulity, the second bridge and I even pushed myself to make it to the third bridge.  Which was a little bit too much.  I think for now the second bridge should be a good benchmark.  However getting to the third bridge was a great accomplishment for me because after the second bridge one gets the feeling of going deeper into the swamp.  It is another section that seems more remote.  I suppose that may be because I am not familiar with it. 

(It is remarkable to me that I am becoming comfortable with getting to the second bridge on my own, the more I venture into the swamp.)

Going back I finally started to relax but I was still focused,  I learnt an important lesson that day.  Enjoy every moment but stay focused.       

My SECOND VENTURE into the swamp was exciting.  I could hardly wait to go in again, this time my friend was running in the swamp, so even though I was doing my walk by myself I felt safer.  This gave me confidence to forge on.  As I was walking, I was amazed that I had the courage to walk this on my own before.  The trail is beautiful but for someone who does not know about wilderness areas and being a lone female it feels unsafe.  I kept thinking to myself, “what are you doing?”  yet I kept going on.  I now remembered a few landmarks,  like a picnic bench that leads to the first bridge.  I was also getting  a sense of the different sections of the trail.  There is a sugar sand section, then a section with pine needles on the trail, then a grassy section that leads to a section with water on both sides, where I think of gators and hope that there aren’t any.  Then the picnic bench that leads to the first bridge. 

I finally get to the first bridge with no incidents.  What to do?  I want to go on, to push myself to the second bridge, the long bridge.  I don’t know how far it is from the first bridge at this point.  I go on.  If I can make it to the second bridge I know that this would be a good point to aim for in my future walk/runs.  The trail winds a little here and it is narrow, there are stumps and bumps that one can trip on, I am very careful.  I try to memorize where the bumps are so I remember them for the future.  I keep wondering how much further the second bridge is and I think maybe I should turn back but I keep myself focused on the moment putting my fears out of mind.  I wish I did not have fears, for it is so amazing to be there but thoughts race throught my mind. Thoughts from everyday life, all the life issues, the fears, the anger, the stresses, the hopes and fears.  All of a sudden I am at the second bridge. 

The second bridge is awesome.  I am awe struck.  I just walk slowly to the middle listening to the stillness. The stillness is amazing.  It fills my being.  It relaxes me, it gives me a sense of being alive.  I look up the tall trees to the blue sky, I look out into the swamp.  I just stand there in the stillness.  I say a prayer of gratitude.

I made it to the second bridge.  I have to now go back. I wanted to stand there longer but I knew I had to head back.  Going back was easier, I was getting the feel of the different sections.  I started running.  I focused on the path and was able to concentrate on the moment.  Soon I was back at the beginning of the trail.  What a moment.  I decided that now I would try to run in the swamp as much as possible and would make the second bridge my goal for the time being.  This would be a good start for my trail running training.  One step at a time.                           

I have started to take my walk/runs into the swamp trails.  I have wanted to do this ever since I discovered this trail with a friend however I never thought that I would have the courage to actually switch from the paved trails to the swamp trail. MY FIRST VENTURE into the swamp was unplanned.  One day, when we went to the trails in different cars I arrived late.  This was the first time I drove there alone and it took longer than I expected it.  When driving together the time seems to fly, I am having fun enjoying the the drive, enjoying the luxury of not driving.  A luxury that I rarely experience.  Now I was fighting dump trucks and a lot of slow drivers.  I was stressed.  I was already stressed and the traffic did not help.  To me this was going to be a special walk/run, I had it pictured in my mind as how it would all go. Our cars would arrive together, we would talk, and go on our merry ways happily down the trails.  Now I know one should not plan things out. Planning things out seems to destroy the real moment. What a loss.  To miss the real moment because something else  is playing out in one’s mind.  This is a lesson I have to learn in many aspects in my life.  Let the moment alone, relax, let it be. 

So, there I was alone.  This was not how it was going to be.  But this was the reality of it.  Now what.  I walked some of the paved trail.  Still alone.  So that left the swamp trail.  I stood there looking down the beginning of the trail.  What to do?  Venture in there alone.  Can I do it and not get lost.  What about spiders and snakes and gators, oh my!  I am a city girl.  My idea of a trail is Central Park’s track around the reserviour.  This was wilderness to me.  However when I first started the paved trail, that seemed like wilderness to me.  I realize that this seems funny compared to the real wilderness trails  in the northern mountains and out west,  but then as I said, I am a city girl.  So, what to do.  I had to go in, I wanted to catchup with my friends on this special walk/run.  I decided to get my green pocketbook.  I don’t know why but I felt safer with my greenbag and the cell phone.  I hoped that if need be it would work in there. 

In there.  Yes, that’s how it was.  I was out there but up the trail was “in there.”  I braced myself and walked through the sugar sand.  I reminded myself not to daydream but to be very careful and look at all the marker signs with the orange foot markes on them.  Over the hump into the green vastness.  A few yards down there were two directions, I frozed for a moment thinking I must turn back but then I saw the orange feet, so off I went.  Winding through the different shades of green.  I finally took a deep breath as I realized that I have not been breathing and then I started to ease up.  Not relax but ease up.  I heard my inner voice saying “I can do this, I can do this.”  Then another inner voice saying, “OK now it is too late to turn back, keep going until you meet up.”  It seemed like I walked quite aways and now I was too afraid to turn back.  Back there, no one was there, forward there was somebody somewhere.  Something was rustling in the bush. Oh, oh. Then birds calling.  Now these were not chirpy birds. These were bird birds. Big Bird calls, announcing to all that I was intruding.  I checked to see if my cell phone worked in there.  It did!  Oh joy, but so what, I thought,  by the time I needed  smeone in here it would not matter.  So, city girl you are on your own. Get it together.  I kept walking.  It was so wonderfully quiet and still, it was beautiful.  I can never get over the many different shades of green.  I thought to myself this would really be nice if I was not in terror.  LOL  Well, long story short I survived.  It was a real experience and I came away with a feeling of a sense of self.  I went forward and did not let my fears get in the way.  If I could do this in my everyday life how remarkable that would be.  What a transformation.  I felt elated.

Went out for a New Year’s Day walk.  It felt good to be with nature.  I feel good in nature, I can trust nature, I understand nature.  It is simple.  Nature is a solace for me, it helps to ease the stress and pain.  While I was walking, thoughts of everyone and  everything that I am thankful for in my life filled my being.  Images of cherished moments filled my mind.

I stopped at a special tree, near the end of my walk and just stood there.   I stood there and I felt grateful.    

Saturday I went for a walk/run.  I had not been to the trails on my regular schedule and I was very happy to be back.  It was a beautiful day, the weather was cool and there was not a cloud in the sky, everything was perfect.  I wanted to try to run at least a mile but I found it difficult, my breathing was not there so I just walked the four miles as fast as I could. Still it was exhilarating.  Being there in the forest taking in the smells and the feel of the air was wonderful.  Walking was easy.

I have been out to the trails several times in October but I walked the lower part of it not the usual four mile Ships Canal part.  Still doing even shorter walks helped. Also, last week I walked through Marsh Swamp with a friend. This was about a twelve mile walk and I suppose that also helped.  I was surprised that I could walk that easily, but I was always big on walking.  It was a wonderful day, one that I will never forget, an experience to remember. I fell in love with the trail and  I hope by next season I might even venture out and be able to walk/run the Marshal Swamp Trail.

Yesterday, Sunday, I did another walk/run and this time I was filled with energy as soon as I hit the trail.  I was able to run it for two miles.  This made me happy, to know that I was getting the running part back again.  I felt like I could run for another mile but my thighs started to feel a little strained so I thought it would be wise not to push and get hurt.  I finished with a fast walk, enjoying the scenery, which I love so much.  Driving back I felt a contentment that I have not felt in awhile.  I feel that I am finally getting my center back.  I am finally getting back to me.  I sometimes try to please others and lose myself in that process,  which does not help anyone.  Everyone loses if we are not free with each other and free to be ourselves.  I have to find the courage to just be me.  Somehow being in nature helps me do this.

I am looking forward to my next walk/run.  Will aim for three miles!!!